Remembering Life Before Kids

Alex and I were married almost two and a half years when Turner was born. It's hard to remember what life was like prior to having kids. What did we do on the weekends? On vacation? After work? Did we go on dates or was every outing considered a date?

 When I see kidless couples (married or not) I want to walk up to them, grab their faces, and shake them uncontrollably like the scene from Billy Madison when Adam Sandler warns the young boy about never growing up and to stay away from high school. I want to tell them to enjoy the time they have together, sleep in, go on vacations, eat out, go to the movies, and try new things because once you have kids everything changes. I don't mean to sound dramatic when I say "EVERYTHING CHANGES", but your priorities shift. Life is not only about your and your spouse anymore. You have a small human(s) to take care.  Of course I absolutely love my kids and I wouldn't trade them for the world, but every once in a while I think about the days when it was only my husband and I. I would also tell those couples kids are amazing and if they want them then I pray they can have them. Infertility is a struggle I've never faced, and believe me I don't take my pregnancies and children for granted.

Alex and I were very frugal at the beginning of our marriage because we were working our butts off to pay off our student loan debt and purchase our first home.  We became debt free after 3 years of marriage and payed off $45,000! Where we are now financially is another blog post ; ) Twins have been a whole new ball game, and have aged me about 10 years in the last 2 years, but they have made me stronger in many ways. Our marriage is constantly being tested, and financially it has been tough, and we've fallen back in to credit card debt. There are some nights when Alex and I barely say two words to each other before 8pm because we are constantly taking care of a child or someone is crying and/or screaming therefore there's no point in trying to have a full conversation.

I know one day my kids will grow up and life will look extremely different. Right now I'm in the THICK of it, and it can be hard to see past it. It's hard to invest in my husband, when I'm physically and emotionally drained by the end of the day. However, I know one day when my kids have left the house, it will be him and I and I don't want to feel like I'm living with a stranger. I want to age and grow with him in our journey of life.

My neighbors take a date night every other week on Monday night which inspired me to start planning week night date nights. Their babysitter is great with our kids and she's agreed to be our babysitter too....praise Jesus! Honestly the only reason we can afford date nights is because I usually get the meal we're having for free as part of a blog collaboration. I'm not going to give you ideas on how to have date nights at home, because honestly we've never done that. We do however consider drives (short or long road trips) as an opportunity to talk and spend a few minutes/hours together holding hands and chatting while the kids are asleep or quiet in the back. We also try to get away at least one long weekend a year sans kids! I don't take my family's help in watching the kids for granted either because it's been a lifesaver!

Life before kids was quieter, easier, and less stressful, but I don't regret the life they've given me....chaos and all! How has life changed for you after kids? Do you have any tips for keeping your marriage strong?

Photos by Joyce Tong Photography

EVERYTHING I'm wearing is from Target! My gingham top and skirt are less than $23 each, and my heels are extremely comfy and $33. ! I've also been wearing this straw hat a ton and it's only $12! 

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