When Motherhood Feels Like a Complete Mess

I hope you don't look at my pretty photos on my blog and Instagram and think I have it all together. Some days I might have a few things together, for instance I can pull an outfit together and get to work on time, but when I get home my kids eat freezer waffles and goldfish because I forgot to go to the store. I lose my temper easily when Turner asks me to get him a glass of chocolate milk in a "fancy" cup for what feels like the hundredth time while Walt whines at my feet.  Not to mention my children have watched Boss Baby for 65 consecutive days because it's the only thing that can keep them quiet while I clean.

A few weeks ago EVERYONE in my family was sick except for me. I'm still in awe I never got it, but thanking the Lord for allowing it to pass because I needed every ounce of energy to get S#@% done. I was thrown up on by all of my children multiple times, and all during the middle of the night. WHY in the middle of the night? Both Walt and Whitney had ear infections and a stomach bug. I couldn't keep all the dang antibiotics in my refrigerator straight, and remember who gets what dose when. 

What got me through it? Prayers and a the drive of being a mom. I think as moms we go in to survival mode. We know it's up to us to get the job done. To comfort our children. To feed them. To put them to bed. To make sure they have what they need for school. To change their diapers and make sure you apply the right amount of diaper cream on their diaper rash so it heals. Don't get me wrong, my husband helps, but there's something in mothers that is truly amazing. Our love for our children is our drive. I mean there are times when I'm not very loving, but I still work my butt off to make sure they are content.  

Over Christmas break while everyone was having a grand 'ole time, I was so exhausted mentally and physically from my children. I kept Whitney quiet during an hour and half church service by letting her watch Moana on my phone in the back. Mom win or fail? I question myself everyday. I kept thinking, "In two years this will look a lot different!" I hate to wish time to pass quickly, but y'all I'm ready for my kids to be a bit older. I'm ready to not have to worry about every meal, every diaper, every thing they pick up they could possibly eat and choke on. 

I guess my point of this post is to say that motherhood is messy. Some days, weeks and months are easier than others. I understand I'm in a really tough stage, and this too shall pass. When life feels like a complete mess, I like to get out of the house to clear my mind. Whether thats a workout class, or a quick run to Target by myself. When Alex is very frustrated I tell him to plan a guys night, because I know he's running low and needs time to relax. Going to work helps as well, which I understand for many moms that's not an option as you might stay at home. Is it sad on Sundays I'm extremely ready to go back to work? Again, it's a hard stage.

Alex and I have tried to take outfit photos while our kids in are in tow, but it has NEVER been a pleasant experience. Basically the only time we can get outfit photos and them not have a complete melt down is if we're at the park. I decided to book a 1 hour session with Austin photographer, Joyce Tong, and shoot as many outfits as I could during that time. No stress for me or Alex...except when I came home Alex acted like he had run a marathon and was very agitated. These photos were taken during my kid-free shoot. A perfect example of just because someone has a glamorous photo does not mean they have a glamorous life. 

Here's to long days and short years. You got this mama!

Photos by Joyce Tong Photography

My sequin top is 40% off and my I'm in love with my high waisted black skinnies that are under $60!


Mai-Brit @ thisfulllife said...

Thanks for this post. I watch your stories and am encouraged by your realness...I've got 20 month old twins so I feel a certain kinship to what your daily life looks like. You're awesome, doing awesome from where I sit.

Britt said...

I second what Mai-Brit@thisfulllife said . I've got 18 month of twins and feel a kinship to you and your daily life, all the way over here in Mpls MN. My dad also passed away not too long ago. You're not alone! Thanks for being real and genuine with the ups and downs of your life right now. One day at a time (that's my new motto).