The Toughest Decision

The time has finally come that I must head back to work. These past 4 months with Turner have been the happiest of my entire life.  I've struggled with the desire to stay at home full-time or go back to my career.  I would love something right in the middle, but I haven't found that opportunity yet.  Tomorrow, I'm starting my first day at my new job as a Claim Rep at one of State Farm's corporate offices in Austin.  My heart just breaks when I think about dropping Turner off at day care, but I have to keep telling myself that it is for the best at this time in our lives.  Alex and I can't wait to buy a house,  and give Turner the opportunity to run and play in a backyard.  Financially, for our dreams to happen I had to make the decision that I need to work.  Also, a part of me really does miss interacting with others in a business environment.  I'm also looking forward to getting dressed up every day.  I miss the fun in picking out outfits.  At least that's what I tell myself to make this transition easier. 

 Are you a Mom that had to return to work after your maternity leave? How did you handle it? Any tips would be greatly appreciated!


Pretty as the Morning said...

I know I am a little late on this post but I will add my two cents :)

I stayed at home with our daughter for 16 months before returning to work full time (that wasn't the original plan but a total unexpected blessing). Like you, we had to make a decision as a family about our long-term goals and the kind of opportunities we wanted to provide our daughter. There was lots of prayer, lots of excitement and some tears. But the job I found is more than a job--it is a calling and I love my work and that really helped. We made childcare arrangements that we felt great about and that also really helped. In fact, my daughter is very timid by nature and somewhat introverted and going to preschool 2 years earlier than i would had sent her as a stay at home mom has really helped her grow and come out o her shell.

I have been back to work almost 8 months and there is not a week that passes that I don't think about going back to being a stay at home mom or having the chance to do that with future kids. A dear friend of mine quoted a feminist author (I can't remember who right now) once saying "you show me a women with no guilt and I will show you a man." I guess I still wrestle with the desicion and I have sort of settled on the idea that the wrestling will probably always be there--and that's a sign that I am a good mom, that's engaged in the life and needs of her family and tuned in to what is best for her child.

I am not sure if this is helpful or not but you can do it!

Jesse Coulter said...

Thanks for your story! Congrats on finding a career you love. It has been easier than I thought going back.