Jesse Coulter

Oh goodness, it got me all stirred up again. Most of the comments made me feel guilty and selfish for working, but then I had working moms and even stay at home moms stick up for me.

Photo: Laura Morsman Photography

Month 3 seemed a tiny bit easier because the babies gas and colic was subdued and feeding was much easier! I had my first full week alone and a couple of weekends with just Alex and I, and finally felt comfortable handling both babies. Now handling all 3 of my children is another story, and I haven't had to do that yet.

Let me tell you, weekends alone suck. Alone meaning no extra help from family. I feel like it's a never-ending cycle of no sleep, feeding, rocking, burping, repeat. It's been tough on me, because I love to be active...especially when the Texas weather is absolutely AMAZING right now (mid-70's). We can get out, but it takes forever. So what usually happens is Alex and I take turns. For example; last Saturday afternoon, I took Turner and Whitney to a friend's baseball game, and later that night Alex took Turner to a movie while I took care of the babies. So basically we're never all together unless we're at home. I don't mind it too much, because it gives me an opportunity to spend quality time with Turner. Finding the new normal has been hard, and going back to work is going to bring a whole new dynamic to our situation. I'll keep you posted on how it goes.

I discovered my new favorite activity during month 3, selling baby clothes to second hand stores (Once Upon a Child, Kid to Kid, and SparkleKids)! Walt and Whitney have outgrown their newborn clothes, and many of their winter 0-3 month outfits so I took a bunch of clothing and miscellaneous items to a few kids second hand stores and was blown away! Not only did I make some great money, but I also discovered super cheap clothes that I adored and most for less than $4! Whitney doesn't have a lot of clothes, so I bought her a few zip-up terry cloth Carter's sleepers for $2 each, and then 4 new comfy 3-6 month summer outfits for less than $15 total. Old Navy and Gap are my baby clothing kryptonite (seriously, they have THE cutest dang clothes), but it's SOOO hard for me to spend money on baby clothes. It feels painful at times. I might buy a few outfits that I can't walk away from BabyGap or Old Navy, and then get all of her outfits for daycare from second-hand stores. I've been wanting to bite the bullet and buy a cute pair of baby moccasins for both of them, but I seriously can't justify spending more than $15-20 for a pair...and even that is pushing it. This is mostly because they can't walk. When they start walking I won't mind spending more on a quality pair of shoes but $25 is usually my limit. I also have this strong desire to find cute matching outfits (in different colors), so when I do I usually have to spend more money.

Sleep:

• Alex still sleeps in our bedroom, and Whitney is in our closet in a rock n' play. Walt sleeps in the nursery in a rock n' play, and I sleep in our guest bedroom. We do this because we get more uninterrupted sleep that way. I only wake up when I hear Walt, and vice versa for Alex with Whitney.

• Walt's head is very flat on his right side, so I've been trying to get him to nap on his belly in hopes that he won't have to get a helmet. When I transition them to their cribs, I will likely put both on their bellies once I'm completely done swaddling.  

• Walt sleeps 3-4 hours straight on a good night, and Whitney has a great 5-6 hour stretch. Poor Walt...no one wants "Walt night duty" because it's a lot more work than easy going Whitney. Although, the first night after they went to daycare all day, Walt slept 6 hours and Whitney slept 10!

• Naps are getting a bit better. They will have a good 1-2 hour nap during the morning and afternoon, but they usually aren't at the same time. Then they'll have a few short 30-45 min. naps throughout the day.

Health: 

• Walt and Whitney have both had a cold for a few weeks, but Walt is much worse. We took him to the doctor a few days ago and sure enough he has an ear infection (the day after I go back to work...typical). He has a rattly chest and coughs like an old man every once in a while when he tries to cough up the phlegm. They both have tons of green snot, but thankfully I have the Nose Frieda to save the day.  

• I got whatever they had, and it got so bad that one night my throat was so red and swollen that I could barely swallow. I didn't sleep a wink because every time I did swallow it was extremely painful. I went to a throat specialist the next day and he prescribed me a steroid and an antibiotic. This same sickness actually happened to me about a month prior, and I had to go to an urgent care facility and was prescribed antibiotics as well.  They ruled out strep both times. I will never take my throat for granted again! With all that being said, taking care of a baby while your sick sucks...taking care of TWO babies while your sick is HELL! I texted my mom at 5am when I was feeding Walt because I knew that I couldn't make it through another day without an extra hand. She is the best, and came right away (praise you Gigi)!

Eating:

• Whitney is on a added rice starch formula for reflux/spit up, and Walt drinks a gentle formula for gas. They are drinking 4-5 oz. per feeding, which can be every 3-4 hours.

• I just changed out our Dr. Brown nipples to size 2 for 3 month olds, and I'm hoping this makes feeding take less time. Walt takes FOREVER to eat.

Growth:

• Clothing - 0-3 months
• Diapers - Size 1 Huggies (Pampers are too tight)

Likes:

• Baby Einstein play gym, they enjoy looking up at the dangling toys that play music
• Walks in the ACK Wrap. If I have trouble getting Walt to sleep I put him in the wrap and he's OUT! It's also a way for me to help round out his head instead of having him on his back during the day. I felt like a supermom when I grocery shopped with Walt in my wrap.

Dislikes:

• Walt seems to have an love/hate relationship with pacifiers. He will take them for a few seconds, and it will soothe him...then he spits it out. Not sure if his latch is just weird, because he's always had trouble with bottle feeding as well. 

Fun Facts:

• Walt:
• This child does not stop moving! He is constantly grunting, looking side to side, stretching backwards, wiggling and squirming. Whitney on the other hand is the exact opposite. She's calm, quiet, and stares deep in to your soul with her blue eyes ; )
  

• Walt can roll to his back if he's laying on his stomach.

• Whitney: 
• Loves to smile, and likes when I stick my tongue out at her. I think I got a little giggle the other day.

• I'm officially obsessed with dressing her up. My budget is going to take a hit once she starts walking.

Tomorrow I'm officially heading back to my full-time marketing job. I was beyond blessed to be able to stay home with Walt and Whitney for 12 weeks and be payed for that time off. It's sad that is rare in our country. I got to spend countless hours holding, feeding, rocking and playing with my babies and I'll forever be grateful for that time. I didn't sleep much, received tons of help from family and friends, went on many afternoon walks, cried a lot and took lots of weekend trips to my parents. I will miss their sweet faces, naps on my chest, newborn smell, smiles and giggles.

I'm a tad anxious about heading back to work, not so much about leaving the kiddos, but being able to perform and be on the ball. Lack of sleep is very real, so I don't want it to affect my work or business decisions (Walt still wakes up every 3-4 hours). I also know that I will have to take more time off due to sick babies (it's inevitable), Walt's laser treatments for his hemangioma, and monthly check-ups. Not to mention I will likely be getting sick more often (I was sick a ton the first year I put Turner in daycare). I think every working mom worries about the push and pull of motherhood and work and keeping a good balance.


When my maternity leave ended with Turner I was devastated about leaving him, but I'm much more ready to get back to work this time around. I'm looking forward to having a hands-free lunch everyday, socializing with other adults, and putting my marketing skills back in to action. I'll also be able to work out during my lunch break, and I'm so ready to get back in to shape. As a second time mom, I know my babies will be fine at daycare. They will be loved, and at the end of the day won't hate me for leaving them. Now, don't get me wrong I would love to spend some days of the week with my babies, but financially that is not an option for my family. I wrote about my decision to go back to work on Austin Moms Blog months ago, and it was the most controversial article I've ever written. The comments from stay at home moms were nasty, and made me realize how real and RIDICULOUS "mommy wars" are. To each their own is what I believe. We all parent different and that's OK! The post barely scratched the surface of why I was going back to work, but if I had known what a reaction it was going to cause I might have done a bit more explanation...but then again, I don't owe those judgmental women anything.


I think the hardest part in the beginning will be getting everyone ready and out the door in the mornings. Wish me luck with this new transition. I know it will feel a bit rocky at first!

Hello 2 Months! The second month with these babes was quite difficult due to gas, fussiness, and not much sleep. Thankfully I had lots of help from my family, and took many trips to my hometown on the weekend to get some extra rest. Many times during a rough day, I would tell myself...If you can just make it till Friday, you will sleep! I'm finally starting to become semi-comfortable with handling both of them on my own, most days I don't have a choice...but now I don't necessarily dread it. I don't dread the babies, but I dread the stress, 2 babies crying at the same time, anxiety and the lack of sleep.

We had our first family outing to dinner (hello pizza buffet), which was insane. Both babies were fussy and crying, so they had to be held. Turner was great, but kept standing on the bench of the restaurant. There wasn't anyone around, and I didn't have the hands or patience to discipline him, so I just went with it...choosing my battles at this point.  On the way home Turner was trying to talk to me from the very back, but I couldn't hear him over the screaming babies. At one point he yelled "STOP IT!!!" to the babies, haha. First time he's been annoyed by their crying. Turner doesn't have much interest in the babies, except a few kisses every now and then.

Between the hours of 6 and 9pm is the most stressful time. Trying to cook, play with Turner, hold babies, feed babies, give baths, put Turner to bed (such a long process), and the babies to bed takes a TON of work. Alex and I barely have time to look at each other, let alone have a conversation. We need a date night desperately.

Adorable outfits by Rainy Lain

Sleep:

• Our sleeping situation is very odd right now. Alex sleeps in our bedroom, and Whitney is in our closet in a rock n' play...might sound crazy to you, but it's dark, quiet and Alex doesn't have to hear her grunts. Walt sleeps in the nursery in a rock n' play, and I sleep in our guest bedroom. I close the door, but can wake easily to Walt crying when he's ready to eat.

• Walt sleeps 3-4 hours straight on a good night, and Whitney has a great 4-6 hour stretch.

• After thinking about it for quite a while, I've decided that I'm going to split up their cribs. I will move one crib to my guest bedroom, and leave one in the nursery. It's going to be a major change. Currently we have a queen bed in our small guest bedroom, so we'll have to sell that, and buy two twin beds. One for the nursery and one for the guest bedroom, since we want to have a place for our guests. They say to keep your babies on the same schedule, but I when one sleeps WAY better than the other, I'm not going to wake that one up. 

• Naps are a bit up in the air...they tend to take a long morning and afternoon nap. If I'm lucky, I can get them to nap at the same time, this has only happened about twice all month. 

Eating:

• Whitney is on a heavy formula for reflux/spit up, and Walt drinks a gentle formula for gas. They are drinking 4-5 oz. per feeding, which can be every 2-4 hours.
• I use Dr. Brown's bottles, and feel like my life is revolved around washing bottles.

Growth:

• Clothing - 0-3 months
• Diapers - Size 1

Likes:

• Baths if the water is just right
• Being carried in my ACK Baby Wrap

Dislikes:

• Tummy time
• Car rides/car seats...I'm in SHOCK. Turner would immediately calm down when we would drive around with him. These babies aren't having it. Stop signs and red lights are my worst enemy, seriously. 
• When the other one cries. I swear Whitney could be as calm as ever, and if Walt starts fussing or crying, she immediately joins in. This makes feeding time extremely difficult and stressful. 

Fun Facts:

• Walt:
• We took Walt to a pediatric dermatologist for his hemangioma on his nose. He was prescribed a topical and we will do a few laser treatments.
  

• .He's starting to get chunky and I'm LOVING it! Turner was always so tiny (in the 2 percentile or less category for the first 2 years), so the thought of seeing some baby rolls makes me giddy. 

• You know when this kid is pooping. Turns bright red and grunts so loud, you would never know Whitney pooped...lady like manners ; )

• Whitney: 
• We found 2 more hemangiomas, one on her butt cheek and one at the top of her head. Although these are growing at a much slower pace than the one on her arm.

• She is very strong, and holds her head up much more than Walt. She's great about looking me in the eyes, and I could look at her cute little face all day.

The time has finally come that I must head back to work. These past 4 months with Turner have been the happiest of my entire life.  I've struggled with the desire to stay at home full-time or go back to my career.  I would love something right in the middle, but I haven't found that opportunity yet.  Tomorrow, I'm starting my first day at my new job as a Claim Rep at one of State Farm's corporate offices in Austin.  My heart just breaks when I think about dropping Turner off at day care, but I have to keep telling myself that it is for the best at this time in our lives.  Alex and I can't wait to buy a house,  and give Turner the opportunity to run and play in a backyard.  Financially, for our dreams to happen I had to make the decision that I need to work.  Also, a part of me really does miss interacting with others in a business environment.  I'm also looking forward to getting dressed up every day.  I miss the fun in picking out outfits.  At least that's what I tell myself to make this transition easier. 

 Are you a Mom that had to return to work after your maternity leave? How did you handle it? Any tips would be greatly appreciated!

One of the toughest decisions I've had to make in my life was recently quitting my job.  Turner had been born, and my maternity leave was almost over, and I felt a huge amount of anxiety come over me.  I knew that the job was not for me anymore, but how could I quit a job without having a back up?  I went back and forth with my decision, but ultimately decided not to stay. Thankfully, I have a supportive husband that supported my decision. I took a leap of faith, and I believe I made the right decision. Here are my pros and cons of quitting. 

Pros:

- Getting to be with Turner for the important first few months of his life
- No anxiety or stress about going in to work every day
- I don't have to sit in traffic every morning/afternoon
- Time to discover what I truly want to do

Cons:

- Not being able to save towards our debt snowball 
       (We can survive off of Alex's salary, but there's no extra $ to save)
- Stress of being on a tight budget
- Unsure of the future

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I would love to be a full-time stay at home mom, but we are trying to pay off debt, buy a home, and save for our future.  We just can't do that financially if I don't go back to work.  Honestly, I miss using the skills I learned in college, and I truly do enjoy marketing.  I'm still unsure what my next job will be, or what type of work I will be doing 20 years from now, but I'm praying fervently and trusting the Lord. Ultimately, life is too short to be unhappy, and after my decision I felt an extreme amount of relief come over me. I can honestly say that I have never been happier.


Have you recently quit a job? I'd love to know your thoughts/experience.