Some of my favorite posts from bloggers are those when they just speak their mind about what's going on in their life and I'm going to do just that in this post in regards to me anxiously waiting for the birth of Walt & Whitney!

As I sit here at 36 weeks pregnant, measuring 40 I am ready for Walt & Whitney to be here. People ask me daily if I'm ready and prepared. My answer to that is, you can't really be prepared for newborn twins, but I am ready to not have this giant bump following me around everywhere I go. Every once in a while I rub my belly and think about how this is the last time I will be pregnant. As uncomfortable as my bump may be at times, I do love seeing what my body can do carrying two humans. When I catch a glimpse of my body after a shower, I'm truly amazed of how it has transformed. I know I will miss it at times.

35 Weeks

Preparation:

• I haven't read one baby book, specifically a book about twins. I was gifted Healthy Sleeping Habits for Multiples last week, but haven't glanced at it. I feel a bit unprepared, but I honestly feel everything is a case by case basis, and I might as well just wait. God knows I will have lots of time while nursing to sit on my phone and google the crap out of everything. 

• I have been on the phone with insurance companies more than I would like trying to get all my ducks in a row for my maternity leave.  It's a pain in the neck going back and forth with my doctor's office and insurance company, but hoping that after the babies are born I can get everything solidified.  

•  I've washed baby clothes, and Walt definitely has the advantage when it comes to the amount of outfits thanks to Turner. Gap and Old Navy have been my go-to for finding matching outfits in different colors. 

• We're not using cloth diapers this time around. I don't have time for that, and washing them is that last thing I want to worry about. We have the closets full of newborn and size 1 diapers as well as wipes thanks to family and friends.

• I haven't officially packed my bag, but I have started gathering things and writing down what I'll need. Turner was born in a birthing center, and we didn't intend to stay more than 6 hours there so I'm a bit unsure of what I'll need for a hospital birth (especially if the babies go to the NICU). 

A few things in my bag;

• Pajama pants
• Nursing tanks
• Slippers
• Toiletries
• Leggings & button-down top for the ride home
• Earth Mama Angel Baby Postpartum items; Bottom spray, Natural nipple butter, Mama bottom balm (Mama needs to be taken care of too!)
• Nursing pillow
• For babies; Diaper bag, swaddles, 2-3 outfits, diapers

 
Anxiety:

• Sleeping: How will I and the babies sleep? Where will I put the babies when I bring them home? In the individual Rock n' Plays in my room? In one crib in their room? I actually bought a baby monitor for the first time, but honestly I'm not sure if I will use it.

• Breastfeeding: Holy crap this one scares me. I want to be able to breastfeed so badly, but the struggle is real. Mastitis twice + a baby w/acid reflux/colic that didn't gain much weight + a cut and yeast infection on my breast that wouldn't heal were all things I dealt within the first 5 weeks of breastfeeding Turner. Alex could see the pain and stress I was going through and went out and bought formula one day. I never looked back after that. This time around I really really want to breastfeed, because 1.) We can't afford all that dang formula 2.) I would feel like a superhero. Although, the independent side of me cringes thinking of being tied down due to breastfeeding or pumping. My sanity depends on getting some me-time, and is that even possible when breastfeeding twins? I am praying that it all works out. I had an in-home breastfeeding consultation by Stork Maternity Consulting last week, and am planning on having a second consultation once the babies are home.

• I had baby blues with Turner, and the nights were the worst. I worry about experiencing those same emotions this time around, but I'm hoping encapsulating my placenta(S)..yes I will have two...will help combat my crazy hormones as well as bring in a good milk supply. I'll be using Hill Country Placentas, and on my to-do list is getting a cooler to put them in after the babies are born....kind of weird, but hey, you do what you have to do! Alex suggested this is the perfect time for him to buy a YETI cooler...bahaha. I died laughing. You want to buy a YETI to put my placentas in? I don't think so.  

• I know that Turner is going to experience a lot of emotions with the arrival of his brother and sister. I've bought him a Big Brother book to give him at the hospital, and I'll probably put in a little treat because he loves sweets. Lately it's been taking a lot of work to get Turner to go to bed. Reading 3-4 stories, going to the restroom, telling a monster story, and then once I leave the room, he tries to come out at least 2-3 times every 5-10 minutes. It's an hour long process most nights (sometimes longer), and he only wants me to do it. I know I don't have that time when the twins are born, so it's going to be rough those first few weeks I'm sure. 

• I always worry about the stress a new baby will put on Alex and I's relationship, but I'm praying for strength and peace during that newborn phase. Lack of sleep can make a woman say and do crazy things.  We changed churches recently, and we've really enjoyed the messages we've heard and spending time together growing in our faith. Prayer is going to be very important for both of us during those tough times.

Getting in lots of time as a family of 3! Spoiling Turner a bit ; )

In-N-Out Burger Date

Random Thoughts:

• In regards to giving birth, I'm not nervous one bit. Even though Turner's natural birth was hard due to the pain, I'm hoping for a well-timed epidural. You can read about Turner's birth here.  I have no expectations, and understand that I might have to have a c-section. I'm optimistic that I will be able to deliver both of them vaginally since they are both head down, but who knows! 

• Thankfully I'm not worried about my work situation this time around. After Turner was born I quit my job, and it took me 4 months to find another one. I was interviewing when he was a month old. I'm not 100% sure the amount of maternity leave I'll be getting (depends on the birth), but I know now that I will be able to leave my babies and be ok with it. My neighbor will be watching the twins during the day, and Turner will continue to go to his school.

Date night at one of my hometown friend's wedding - 35 weeks

Well, that was a lot. Thanks for sticking around if you made it through! Here's to potentially 2 more weeks of pregancy, and then I will officially be done having babies (kind of sad).