Tomorrow I'm officially heading back to my full-time marketing job. I was beyond blessed to be able to stay home with Walt and Whitney for 12 weeks and be payed for that time off. It's sad that is rare in our country. I got to spend countless hours holding, feeding, rocking and playing with my babies and I'll forever be grateful for that time. I didn't sleep much, received tons of help from family and friends, went on many afternoon walks, cried a lot and took lots of weekend trips to my parents. I will miss their sweet faces, naps on my chest, newborn smell, smiles and giggles.
I'm a tad anxious about heading back to work, not so much about leaving the kiddos, but being able to perform and be on the ball. Lack of sleep is very real, so I don't want it to affect my work or business decisions (Walt still wakes up every 3-4 hours). I also know that I will have to take more time off due to sick babies (it's inevitable), Walt's laser treatments for his hemangioma, and monthly check-ups. Not to mention I will likely be getting sick more often (I was sick a ton the first year I put Turner in daycare). I think every working mom worries about the push and pull of motherhood and work and keeping a good balance.
When my maternity leave ended with Turner I was devastated about leaving him, but I'm much more ready to get back to work this time around. I'm looking forward to having a hands-free lunch everyday, socializing with other adults, and putting my marketing skills back in to action. I'll also be able to work out during my lunch break, and I'm so ready to get back in to shape. As a second time mom, I know my babies will be fine at daycare. They will be loved, and at the end of the day won't hate me for leaving them. Now, don't get me wrong I would love to spend some days of the week with my babies, but financially that is not an option for my family. I wrote about my decision to go back to work on Austin Moms Blog months ago, and it was the most controversial article I've ever written. The comments from stay at home moms were nasty, and made me realize how real and RIDICULOUS "mommy wars" are. To each their own is what I believe. We all parent different and that's OK! The post barely scratched the surface of why I was going back to work, but if I had known what a reaction it was going to cause I might have done a bit more explanation...but then again, I don't owe those judgmental women anything.
I think the hardest part in the beginning will be getting everyone ready and out the door in the mornings. Wish me luck with this new transition. I know it will feel a bit rocky at first!